The world used to be so simple,
so easy to take apart,
like building blocks to a four year old child
wishing she could have more than bricks of wood.

Maybe it’s just this house.
But I feel as though the world is caving in.
As though my life has no more purpose.

Maybe it’s the people I talk to.
the ones who believe what I believe
but refuse to act.
Lipservice.
Regretfully so.
Not realising that to make their beliefs a reality
that sacrifices are needed.
Throw caution to the wind!
Justice and goodness don’t prevail without you
making the effort and showing how much you care -
no matter the cost to your heart.
My heart will be constantly broken for everything that I believe!
It is the price I pay for having a God who can heal it completely!
I will put myself in harms way at great personal loss.
Whoever said that we should be safe was wrong.
Once you know the God that I know things will never be the same.
Life will never be the same
It has more meaning.

Maybe it’s just me.
sitting here in a labyrinth.
I put myself in a box.
I tied myself down.
All for those people.
The ones who share the same beliefs.
Believing that I was doing the right thing.
Forgetting that I was never made to be like them.
How could I when I was born in poverty and dissolution?
I’m hurting.
Not knowing why I was asked to do something
that has such consequences.
Knowing that the main cause of my own downfall was me.
Why I didn’t do things right the first time
I'll beat myself stupid thinking that I was so stupid.
And then I'll be made redundant for my lack of everything.
I still don’t know what the lesson was.
I wish I knew.